No Prince Charming Knocking at Our Doors

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"And as we kissed, really kissed, something inside me was smashed, like a splitting atom,erupting with all the force if a shattering nucleus. And yet I was strangely at peace, too. It was like I'd found my place in the universe, in the chaos, and Lucius and I could go along locked together throughout time without end, like pi, existing infinitely, irrationally, spinning through out time." 

What a feeling huh? Being a girl who could only feel such a kiss through her books and stories told by her friends, that there is setting my bar quite high. I'm very well aware that at times first kisses are 'over rated' OR it could be just that and maybe more.

For those of us who have fallen in love with our fictional Lucius we could only keep on dreaming for the day that our 5'7 Obsidian hair and broad shoulder with deep piercing eyes come and whisk us away. And is it so wrong to hope that it may come true?

I wonder if any other girl is like me out there, a girl who:

- Is nineteen
-Has not had her first kiss
-Obviously sex goes without saying if you read ^^^
-Has had no boyfriends (again read two)
-That her own little sister has had 4 boyfriends more than her self

(Wow well I think I should be rethinking a few choses in my life now that I think about it haha.)

But no seriously I'm the one in my group of friends who has to be explain a sexual joke by the rest of the group and is treated as the baby of the group (in the aspect of dating and the such). Once I had enter high school I was slapped with a reality check that over 80% of the girls there had lost their virginity if not before but freshmen year.
I was in shock the first few times very close friends I ended up meeting in high school would casually bring up their sex life. I just couldn't grasp it all. All I thought was "Where could they have done it, without their parents finding out?", "Was it planned out?", "Would I have to give out if I ever dated anyone?" 

I had ever really been in a hurry to jump into the love world. Yes I've had my curious moments of what a kiss felt like, what having sex was like, and above all what it was like to really love someone. Of course I had my few crushes through out my life, I can give you the name of the boy I was all gaga back in 5th grade. BUT none of that was really more than just a crush, it was just a nice sweet small feeling I would get any time I would see that person, but it always slowly faded away. I never had the urge to pursue after it, and even more than once when my crush found out about my feelings I did freak at first and even times he would return my feelings but i never acted upon them I never did want to be their girlfriend. Anyone else felt the same way? Of being the hunter but once catching your prey it just isn't the same?

Maybe again it's just me and I have been told I was stupid for rejecting a few offers from nice guys by both my little sister and close friends. Now my own parents want to auction me off to the highest betting  really. Its come down to my mom being my match maker with the son's of her girlfriends.

But the truth of the matter even though I do wan't to feel those butterflies and the perfect pi i simply can't find my self dating anyone at this point of my life. Am I missing out in life? Are other girls like me missing out as well? Is it so wrong to be a complete virgin in this time and age?

The one thing that does get to me is that I might be twenty-one and I won't know how to kiss that hot Italian guy at the casino haha.

For those of you who have experience most of what I haven't what was it really that urge you to take that step? Was it simple going with the flow, or was there more emotion involved behind your choice? And for those of you that are like me (sadly xD) what's your reason for holding back? Waiting for Mr. Right or is your fictional character good enough for now?